Sometimes I have to think about things for months but once I decide to do them its like jumping off of a cliff. It’s a leap of faith. I was married for 25 years. I cannot say that it was bad. it wasn’t. I have had a few years that were extremely hard. Having four grown children, each dealing with my changes differently as well as with each other has been a huge test of the things we had known all  being turned upside down. Crying in the shower was a regular occurrence but I wasn’t going to let that part of me show to the world. I was stronger than that. I had to find a way to deal, with all of it! I needed to find the strength to smile. I couldn’t show weakness, failure for me was not an option. I quickly learned that hiding part of me wasn’t being true to me, at a time I needed complete honesty in order to find myself again.  This blog is not just about the good, the happy, but also about the hard, the taboo, the things everyone feels but wont necessarily talk about. I have never written to share for others. My words are not always complete, or proper sentences but they are real. This is my journey to  finding my beautiful.